The biggest thing I feel guilty about? Daycare.
Sending C to daycare has been one of the best yet hardest things for me as a Mommy. I love my job. I do. It is annoying and frustrating at times and is easy to get burned out, but I still enjoy it.
This is where it gets hard for me. I like my job, I love having an income. Yet, so many days I wake up and just want to grab my baby and return to bed and stay home for the
Sometimes I feel SO guilty for leaving my little monkey in the care of others instead of being there for him. I feel like I am missing his little milestones. It's not that I worry about him at daycare, they are AWESOME there. They have tons of accreditations, they have had care plans and written goals posted for him monthly. We already had a parent teacher conference! (For my 7 month old!) They know what they are doing, they meet my requests and I know he is in good hands there. But I feel guilty leaving him there for 8+hours a day.
At the same time, I do enjoy my adult interaction. And I think it really helps me to appreciate the time I do get with C. I can't quit kissing/cuddling/snuggling him or trying to get him to smile. I love our home time in the evenings and on the weekends. I love knowing that by having a job I am saving money for his future and vacations and ensuring that husband and I will have a retirement plan in the future.
And that leaves me where I am now. Torn. I guess I need to just make the most of our off time together and snag as many snuggles as possible! The littlest C is growing by leaps and bounds and I am doing my best to document as best I can through his letters and pictures. It gives me such joy to care for this bouncing baby boy and not a day goes by that I don't thank God for allowing me the opportunity to care for this little angel.